Misery
by MewTwo and Mew
Summary: A Lucario who has survived a traumatic experience lives with the guilt of his trainers death.
1. The Crash

Prolog.

Light spun around me, and glittering glass fell at my feet. The screeching of car tires threw me through the windshield of the car, and I regretted not wearing my belt. When i I looked up, I realized James wasn't with me. He was still in the car. I smelled gasoline, saw the flames, and I panicked. I ran to the window-I think he was still alive...no, I knew he was. Screaming. Why couldn't I hear? Everything was quiet. I tried to tear him out but I had no time. I ran, just as the car exploded. The screams where horrible. I could hear again. All I could register was my best friend screaming.

"Oh god! Help! Luke help me! Don't let me die like this, please, Luke ! Help me! Oh god!"

Then it was real quiet. James was gone. I couldn't breathe, couldn't think. Why wasn't he still screaming? Where was I? The world tilted and blurred. I blacked out.

* * *

><p>"Hey, luke, throw me the ball!"<p>

James and I where, like every Saturday, out in the rain playing basketball. Most people treated their pokemon like pets, but nah, not James. He respected me. More of a bother than pet. I tossed him the ball, and he dunked it, and we both shouted in glee. We never really played for wins, just for fun. As he threw me the ball to me, and I noticed he had several beer bottles off to the side of the court and I gave him a questioning look.

"What? Awh common man I just turned 18, let a brother have some fun!"

I chuckled along with him, yeah he was underage, but not like it matters right? We both groan as his phone rings.

"It's karlah again!"

He shouts to me. Karlahs his girlfriend, and not a good one either. I could swear she always reeks of a new type Cologne every time I see her, and it's weird, cause James dont wear any.

"Yah babe, I-...no, I'm out on the court with Luke...hell no, that isint even a girls name!...you know who he is, the lucario."

James rolls his eyes and I snicker. Karlah wouldn't know a lucario from a human, and she ain't blind, she's just dumb.

"Yeah yeah yeah, whatever, tell mom I'll be home later. Yeah...Yes...OKAY...bye."

He hangs up and turns to me.

"Wellp, looks like it's time to head off."

He walks over, pops a beer cap and chugs it. I roll my eyes, but accept one when he offers it. Now, I know what people think. Pokemon are sensitive and can't have human stuff. Well that's a load of bull. I drink the thing just as he finishes, and within half an hour, both of us are somewhat light headed. I think he had more.

"Lets get home pal."

He slaps my back as I grin, and we head for his car. It wasn't anything special, just a beat up old hunkajunk. It was blue, or Atleast it used to be. Now it was light grayish with paint peeling off, and rust all over. But, it still ran, and that's what's important right? I hopped in the passengers seat as James drives. Part of me says he shouldn't be behind the wheel, but hell he ain't had nough to be drunk, right?...

As we speed along the highway, people are honkin at us and we're laughin, cracking up. Everytime someone honks we just laugh harder. How much did we drink anyway? I lost count. Suddenly there's a wall, like it just jumped out in front of us. James is trying to make his foot hit the brakes while I scream.

Light spun around me, and glittering glass fell at my feet. The screeching of car tires sounded and I was thrown through the windshield of the car, and regretted not wearing my belt.I looked up, and realized James wasn't with me. He was still in the car. I smelled gasoline, saw the flames, and I panicked. I ran to the window-I think he was still alive...no, I knew he was. Screaming. Why couldn't I hear? Everything was quiet. James had gotten stuck.. I tried to tear him out but I had no time. I ran, just as the car exploded. The screams where horrible. I could hear again. All I could register was my best friend screaming.

"Oh god! Help! Luke help me! Don't let me die like this, please, Luke! Help me! Oh god!"

He screamed for a long...long time. Then it was quiet. real quiet. James was dead. I couldn't breathe, couldn't think. Why wasn't he still screaming? Where was I? The world tilted and blurred. I blacked out.

A broken rib. That's all I had. One measly little broken rib. I woke up on black pavement just as the police sirens and ambulance arrived. But..James had been pronounced dead on the scene, and i was taken to a hospital. One little rib broken..that's it. It wasn't even a bad break. I remember crying. I cried a lot. At first I didn't even realize he was gone, I was expecting him to limp into the room any moment, but instead James mother, Riley walked in, her eyes red from crying. She told me what I already knew. James burned to death in that car. I didn't say anything. What was there to say? He was dead. But...why.

I was discharged from the hospital the following morning. I didn't say anything, didn't look at anyone. I just couldn't. It hurt so much. There was so much I should have done to prevent it, but I didn't. I knew he shouldn't have been drinking. Hell, I shouldn't have been. But I didint say anything, I just went along with it. James died because I was a bad friend. I didn't stop him. It's my fault...

I laid there in bed for hours, just looking at the ceiling. Below me, my best friends empty bunk sat untouched from when he was last in here less then thirty hours before. It's hard to believe he's dead. His scent even still lingers in the room. I can't get him out of my head, he's everywhere. The smells, the sights the sounds. It's all reminding me of him. Renewing my guilt. Why did I survive, and he have to die? I'm just a pokemon, he could get along without me. But he had such a bright future, he maybe woulda married karlah and had a dumb kid like she is, or a smart one like he was. So much coulda-shoulda happened. But now it can't because of of MY mistake. What kind of friend am I?

Despite the pain, I returned to the school James went to. I always went with him. They didn't even cancel school for a day. But, there where grief counselors there. They wanted us to 'share' our feelings. Hah. What really helped I felt was the part where we got to sit together in circles, talk about it. Though, I didn't talk-I couldn't. I nodded, I cried, I mourned. In the end I felt I was better for it. Maybe I can get through this...but it's only the beginning.


	2. Hurting

Went to the mall with karlah. Guess she misses James more than I do. That's what she said, anyway. It's round christmas now. It's been rough, too. A lot of fingers been pointed, a lotta people been cryin. But today I think hit me hardest so far. I saw some people from James's school. His old buddies. They reconized me, and what they said chilled me to the bone.

"Hey, ain't that the lucario James called Luke?"

"Yeah! Yeah man it is!"

"It STILL looks upset. Hah."

"Over what? JAMES? Really?"

"Yeah man, look at it! It's frikkin near tears now, how Pathetic. James been dead what, four months? No one be carin anymore."

"Sides, didn't the news say the lucario was the whole reason James died?"

That was all I could take. I turned and ran out of the mall, leaving karlah who was completely oblivious. Angry, frustrated tears ran down my smoothed fur. That stupid news report. Said I was responsible for the whole thing. But it's true, isint it? I could have prevented it. Why couldn't it have been me?...

As i sit staring at the ceiling, my thoughts run wild. Memories, past regrets, recent guilt, depression. It all swirls inside of me like a never ending hurricane. Why did it have to happen like this? It's just all so messed up.

Christmas Day came and went. There was this whole tradition where James's mom and dad would laugh and tell me to come get my rock, cause 'bad boys' only get rocks for Christmas. Then I'd come into the living room and see what they really had in the small stocking for me. But this year, no one asked me to go anywhere. I just sat on the couch, watched Riley and her husband jack exchange gifts. They didn't even look at me until late into the night.

"Luke?..."

My head slowly looked up, and I met the steady gaze of Riley. She came and sat by me, then pulled me into a hug. I ain't one who likes the whole mushy thing. But...it felt good. Knowin someone was there for me. After a moment she let go, and handed me a small red and green box.

"Merry christmas.."

I looked up at her, then down at the gift. I opened it...and found a picture. Of me and James out on the basketball court, happy as ever. It was framed in white and gold, and at the bottom the words 'friendship never dies' where etched into the woodwork. I felt tears come to my eyes. How could he be gone? ... I let out a shaky breath, but it was useless. Tears fell on to the glass, and I sobbed. I'm bleeding, even though I ain't cut. The wound James's death left is still fresh, and now it's pounding. Pointing at me and yelling 'killer!'

Later the next day, I was sitting outside with cherry, Jame's charmeleon. We'd always been close.

"Do you think he's cold?"

I asked suddenly. Cherry turned and looked at me funny.

"Who?"

"James. Do you think he's cold?"

She looked at me as if I was insane. Maybe I am.

"With all this snow...I know I'm always cold. Do you think he is?"

Cherry got up, and lead me inside. The wound was bleeding again.

I slept fitfully that night. And I think the dream was part of what lead me to where I am now. I was in some kinda room. But James was there.

"I'm cold, luke. Real cold. When are you gonna come see me? It's been real lonely here. Didja know there ain't no other black people in this necka heaven? Just me!"

I blinked, utterly confused.

"Come see you? What do you mean?...no black people?"

"It was a mixup bro, cause of mah last name. Washington. They got me up here with Martha and gorge! And they don't know nothin, not even what basketball is! And Martha keep askin what mah shirt says, you know that one with skrillex? And yeah, You know man, come up here n keep me company!"

I jerked back.

"Y-you mean you want me to die?!"

"Yeah man. With you dead it would be livin up here! Does that make sense?.. "

"J-James I'm sorry, I know it's my fault your gone and-"

"Yeah it's your fault. It's all your fault. You didint stop me drinkin or tell me to slow down. It's all your fault, lucario."

The world swirled around me, and i woke up, the wound in my heart was pounding again. Did James really blame me after all?


	3. Progress

Things got rough. I've continued going to James's school, more so out of habit than anything. All the teachers are used to having me around as a sort of helper so they don't object. I guess that's a good thing, I don't have to be alone. I think about the crash when I'm alone, and that just gets me deeper into depression, and sometimes I'll cry for hours.

I don't know what it was that set me off today. I was in a history class, and they where talking about some guy who killed a king, and a lot of women and children, but his wife had told him to do it or something. But in the end, someone commits suicide. But they did it because they felt they where guilty, because they had killed someone. I feel like that a lot. All the time now. But I don't talk to anyone about it. Cherry knows. I know. I think Riley does too, but I'm not sure. Anyway, when they started talking about the suicide I just lost it. I had to leave the room, because i almost started to cry. I felt everyone staring at me, because I never just up and leave, even when James did.

Riley and jack noticed how down I've been. They took me to a freaking psychologist. Can you believe that? A human one too. Good thing I went to school with James for so long, cause it was able to answer the guy on paper. I can't say it didint help though..

"Oh, I'll assume your Luke?"

I nod.

"Great. Have a seat, and well get started hmm?"

I sighed and sat down on a large red chair, and he looked at me intently, as if looking into my Mind.

"Why don't you tell me what happened?"

He passed me a notebook, and I wrote everything. I told him about basketball, about the call from karlah, about the beer, about the car, about the crash. When I was done and he had read it, he nods and asked a question that I could answer without thinking.

"Do you blame yourself for what happened to James?"

Here is what I wrote, word for word.

"-_Of corse I blame myself. It's my fault, ain't it? He was drinkin, I was drinkin. But he was drivin. I knew he had been drinkin cause he had gotten me to start drinkin. But I let him drive anyway. I didn't stop him, I didn't even try. Then when it happened, I didint try hard nough to save him. I just listened to him die_."

The guy looked the note over, and then into my eyes.

"Do you think James blames you?"

"-_I don't know. Maybe. Not really, I guess. He wasn't one to blame anyone for anything. He would just say 'stuff happens' and move on._"

"Then why do you blame yourself?"

"-_because I know I could have prevented it._"

"Do you feel you should have been punished?"

"-_yes_."

"How?"

"_-...I don't know. Kicked out of the house, maybe. Put away for a few years_."

"And how do you feel?"

"-_alone. Guilty. Depressed, I guess. How am I supposed to feel? I practically killed my best friend._"

"And have you expressed this to Mrs. And Mr. Washington?"

"-_no. I haven't had the guts to. How would I even start? 'Hey I'm sorry I killed your son'? It don't work like that._"

"No, I suppose it doesn't. I hear you go to James's school still. How has that been?"

"-_good,i guess_."

"Do you feel it has helped?"

"-..._yeah. People understand. But there are some people who don't, I guess. Who feel the same way I do, that I'm to blame. I use James's old locker, yanno? But I found the word 'killer' written on it the other day._"

"And how did that note make you feel?"

"-_sad, I guess. Angry. Upset some don't really get it._"

He nods one final time, before looking up at me from the pad he had been scribbling on.

"Well like, how about you come back here next week and we can keep talking alright?"

I just shrugged, leaving when Riley and jack came to get me.

Another hard day at the school. Found another note in the locker. Said 'we wish you had been the one to burn', found another on the desk I sit at, said 'we're gonna burn you like you burned James'. I don't really pay attention to them anymore. Or anything else for that matter. I'm just numb.

"How you feelin Luke?"

I was sitting outside with cherry, and she was telling me about this and that, just things that didn't really matter.

"I dunno, better I guess."

She nods.

"It's hard to get past. But people die all the time."

"It's scary, cherry. James was only what, seventeen? Sixteen? He was at that age where your not supposed to die. Where your supposed to make plans for life, families and jobs and all that. But now he's six feet under with a stone over his head. Ain't right."

"Nothing's right, Luke. But James wouldn't want you to grieve like this."

"Maybe not. That don't mean I won't."

"You always where stubborn."

"So are you."

"Whatever...I know you mean well, cherry, really, but something's I just needa deal with alone."

"I , Luke? Where do you see yourself in ten years?"

"I don't."

"What?"

"I don't see myself that far."

"What do you mean, Luke?"

"I mean...I don't see anything in my future. It's all just bleak. I don't think I even have a future anymore, cherry. Life ain't got no meaning."

"That's real dark.."

"I'm real dark."

"Well, I see myself with a family and cubs!"

"Nah cherry your gonna be the first pokemon somethin or other. If there ain't one yet, you gonna be it."

"Oh really now? And you don't see your self with me?"

"Naaah. Like I said, I don't see myself anywhere."

"Well, what about this Friday?"

"That far I can see."

"And? Where are we?"

"Hmmm...I see us at the forest edge, gettin pizza from that women in the cottage and makin passionate love!"

She laughs.

"I think your crystal balls cracked, but two outta three ain't bad."

"What two did I get right?"

"Shut up, silly boy."

I Started Goin with cherry, she's been a big help. An she loves me, too. Just like I do her. Maybe things are startin to look better...


	4. Red pain

More time passed. Don't know how long. Didn't keep track. Another gash, another nonexistent wound that hurts me. I was with another pokemon, one belonging to karlah. An older Raichu. She's nice enough, I guess..

"Hey Luke. How ya feelin?"

"Fine I guess."

"You sure? You don't look fine. Your all..thin. And you look like you haven't slept in weeks. You been sleepin okay?"

"Yeah."

"...okay...you know, you should really try to move on from that unfortunate incident, it was just a freak accident. I know it was hard for you, but-"

"Would you People STOP trying to tell me to move on?! IT WASNT JUST A 'INCIDENT'! It was a crash! It was a horrible, horrible crash! And someone died! James, DIED! And you all expect me to just move on like its fine and dandy?! Well it's NOT! IM not! And I don't think I ever will be! So just leave it!"

With that, I just stormed away. I regretted yelling at her later. She was really just trying to help.

It's hard to deal with things alone when you really need someone, but there just ain't no one. I mentioned before I think bout not likin being alone. Well...nobody was home. Cherry wasn't home, jack n Riley weren't home, but I was. And the house was silent. As if mocking me, sayin it shouldn't be that quiet, and I know it's true. With James around nothin was ever quiet, someone was always laughin, always tryin not to be too loud or too rough. But it would happen anyways and we would laugh about it. James was cool like that. James... He didint deserve to die, not like that. He was sposed to grow up, go to collage, get a scholarship for basketball 'n then get a house an have a family. But none of that will ever, ever never happen now cause of me. My eyes stray to the old huntin rifle hanging on the wall. The loaded barrel... No. No, I won't let myself go that far. I yank my eyes away, and just leave the house, before I do something stupid. No...I hurt someone bad, killed him. It would be a shame to end my own suffering, when he died in such a horrible way.

Another visit to the shrink. Another dose of annoyance.

"Hello Luke! How are you?"

_"-as good as I can be I spose."_

"Good, good.. What's wrong, you seem upset."

_"- I don't know, doc. Things. Life,I guess. It hurts still, but it guess it always will. People keep sayin to get over it but I can't. I have these dreams, nightmares, about the crash. What happened, what shoulda happened..."_

"What do you think should have happened, Luke?..."

_"-I shoulda died in that fire, not James."_

"Why do you think that?"

_"-I dunno. Just do. It feels wrong that I get to live and he don't."_

"Alright...well, how about you and that girl you mentioned the last time you where here? How are you both getting along?"

I felt another deep pounding in the wound.

"-_we're gettin long fine, doc. Me 'n cherry are real tight, can't be separated if ya tried."_

"That's good! And, how are people treating you at the school?"

"-_pretty good. I'm pulling myself together, feeling better than ever."_

The next Day I went back to the school again. During a gym class, the coaches all brought everyone outside to the football field, had the girls run track and the guys play football. They gave me the choice but I sat out. Eventually I went to the water fountain just behind the bleachers, and heard footsteps on both sides, closing in...

"Well well well ain't it the killer lucario?"

I felt a shiver run down my spine as I turned to face the huge, muscular jocks. I reconized some of them as basketball players for the school team.

"We all know what you did, everyone knows. You purposely left James in that car didint ya?"

He shoved me against the wall and I felt my head snap back against the cold concrete.

"Well? Say sumthin!"

I wanted to, so badly. I wanted to punch these guys right in their stupid mouthes. But I didint. I didn't wanna hurt anyone else.

"Well guys, lets beat some noise outta this idiot eh?!"

I felt fear shoot through me as I realized my position. I was backed against a wall, no way to escape. I heard the punch first, but then felt it. Right in the ribs. Breath knocked out of me, I dropped to my knees only to receive a searing, almost agonizing kick to the crotch from one of the shorter guys. I fell onto my side, only able to weakly protect my head as the onslaught continued. But still I refused to use any of my moves. In a way, it was my own sick punishment for what I did to James. What I caused. They all ran off laughing when the whistle blew, and i forced myself to a stand. Checked my body. A a lot of bruises, but my fur hid them well enough. Surprisingly, no cuts. But the spike on my chest was cracked, and that worried me. Not sure how to fix that. I'd figure it out eventually.

"Oh my god, luke, what Happend to your spike?!"

Cherry was staring at me, wide eyed in horror.

"Nothin. Just got in a little fight, that's all. It was something stupid."

"Boys...you guys are always getting too rough!"

"Yeah, Heh, I know."

"Hey, Luke...about the...crash.."

I paled.

"What about it?"

"There's...people...saying you left James there on purpose. Is it true?"

"No! It's..it's not! I swear it!"

"Okay, okay, calm down..sorry."

"It's fine, just...I didn't. I didn't have enough time to get him out, I tried I swear I did, I... There was just so much fire...I could smell the gas.. But I guess I didn't try hard enough."

"Don't say that, I'm Sure you did your best."

"But if wasn't enough.."

I looked away as tears started to form in my eyes, and cherry sighed. It sounded morelike a sound of frustration.

* * *

><p>Cherry's note to spark (Raichu)<p>

-hey, girl. Five months have passed sense I got with Luke, but...It's getting pretty rough. I mean, James's death hit everyone hard but we all are learning to deal with it, but he just seems to refuse to get over it. It just feels like too much yanno? I mean...I think...I love him, but...I'm not sure anymore. He's just always depressed and it's dragging me down too. I feel like I'm responsible for pullin him outta whatever he's sinking into. I don't know what do to. I wanna ease up on our relationship but I don't know how to without hurtin him. It seems like he's just on the brink of insanity sometimes, like he's always sayin the strangest things like 'do ya think James is cold?' Or stuff like that. It gets creepy. I don't know what to do round him no more, and it's getting tough to put up with his crying and depression spells. Sometimes I just don't try. He seems like he's getting worse too. How am I supposed to help him if he don't wanna be helped? Maybe we should split up? I need your advice!

-cherry

* * *

><p>It was the talent show at the school, and people where singing an dancin and being all funny. Usually I'd be crackin up. But...without James nothin seems funny no more. I mean, I still smile. Have to put up an show. But what happened after...it hurt bad. Real bad.<p>

"Hey cherry!"

"Heey...Luke.."

"What's wrong C, perloin got your tongue?"

"Um...no...I...Luke I think...we should break off.."

I stepped back, feeling as if I had been hit. No, this feeling was worse. It was worse than getting beat up by those jocks. Worse than that times ten. I would take that again and be grateful.

"Wh-what?"

"I mean...I like...you,...but your just too much...you get all depressed and...I can't deal with that anymore."

"I-...I thought you cared!"

"I do care, Luke!"

"Obviously not!"

"I do, I just can't...I can't stand you always pulling me down..!"

I had nothing to say to that.

"I'm sorry luke, really I am. But I can't do this no more."

My eyes narrowed.

"Go to hell!"

Her eyes did too.

"Maybe that's what Im Gettin out of!"

My heart thumped painfully, and I ran out the back door.

I didn't stop runnin til I was home. I got in, slammed the door, went to my room, slammed that door too. Then picked up the phone, and called the shrink. I had to. I felt like I was gonna explode. I needed to vent, and ain't no one else willin to listen. I needed to call the other line, the one where they gotta pokemon answerin all I got was a machine.

"Hello! You've reached the offices of ! We're closed right now, but please leave a detailed message and we will get back to you as soon as possible! Thank you!"

I just hung up. The cheery voice just made my heart hurt worse. My head was pounding, felt like someone was knocking on it with a hammer. For all I cared, they where.

Didn't go to the school for..I dont know how long. But I didn't leave the bedroom, either. Cept maybe to go to the bathroom. Riley brought food up to me when she felt I would need it. But I didn't really eat much. Couldn't. Got sick later on, it would just come back up. The words just kept repeating in my mind, making it feel like someone was twisting a knife in my chest.

_"But I can't **do** this no more."_

_"Don't let me die like this, please!"_

_"Move on from that unfortunate incident.."_

_"You left him there on purpose didn't ya?"_

I didn't know anymore. Did I? It's all just a blur. My chest feels like someone is pushing on it, can't breathe, can't think... I felt something wet roll down my face, and realized I was crying again. Why did it all happen like this, why can't I just get a break?...


	5. Release

I gave a letter to Riley and jake...trying to tell them how sorry I am.

_  
><em>"I know nothing I can say will ever make it better, and it won't change anything me writing this. But I feel like I have to. I know it may be painful to think about him. About James. It's still painful for me too. I just wish I could have done something to change it. So...I put this together. So you can remember him, the past too, and not hurt. These are a collection of good times so you don't only think of the bad.<em>

_-the time when James first got me, I was just a little riolu from the adoption house. He didn't stop smiling for an entire week and neither did I. We just sorta clicked._

_-the time James made his very first basket on the team. He was so proud of himself. You where proud of him, too. So was I. Cause he was still kinda short, so everyone was surprised and happy he had made it. Even the other team._

_-the time we all went to cut our first live tree for Christmas, it was a week or two after I evolved. James kept making these jokes about trees coming alive to scare me. I didint admit it, but I really got kinda freaked out. It had been my first time even seeing snow._

_-when James got the flu and I stayed home with him, and he kept fake throwing up on me to scare me. Until he actually did, and you laughed._

_-that day when we all went to the fair, and James got knocked upside the head by jack for breaking something, but we all laughed bout it anyway cause he kept saying it was the other guys fault. I think he got in a fight?_

_I hope this has helped you think more about the good times than the bad. Maybe then remembering him won't be so painful. I don't know what else I can say to try an make it better. 'Hey I'm sorry I killed your son'? It won't work like that. So...yeah. I'm sorry."  
>_<em>

Riley read it, started cryin, hugged me. I cried to. Jack just went upstairs, and later on Riley told me he never blamed me, but it's takin him longer to deal with, so he's not ready. I wonder if that's his way of sayin that he won't ever get over what I did. What I caused. What I didn't stop...

Everyone believes I'm Okay now. Everyone around here knows I'm fine. Just the way I wanted.  
>"Well hello again Luke. How are you feeling?"<br>"_-feelin fine doc. Never been better._"  
>"That's great. How have you been dealing with everything? Any nightmares?"<br>"_-nope. Not a single one. I've been feelin great, and gettin better every day._"  
>"That's wonderful luke. And how are you and cherry doing?"<br>"_-me and cherry are real close, lovin each other like always doc._"  
>"Great. And how about those boys at school? They treating you good?"<br>"_-yeah. Ain't found no more notes either.i still feel guilty, but I'm learnin to live._"  
>"That's wonderful luke! You've progressed from wanting to die, to learning to live. I think we can move these meetings to as needed, hmm?"<br>"-_don't think I needed them in the first place_."  
>"Well I think we've come a long way."<br>"-_whatever you say, doc_.."

-  
>I haven't talked to cherry sense...that night.i don't need her. I don't need Riley or jack or that stupid shrink. I don't need nobody!<p>

Went to the school. Roamed around a little. Took down today's accusing notes. Same old same old... But I can't help but feel horrid. so I went home, talked to riley. or...well...wrote.

"-you know a long time ago wen we all went on vacation to the beach? While I was a riolu?"

"yeah?"

"-well...in the middle of the night, me and James snuck out. Went to the beach to collect shells."

"So?...why are you telling me this now? thinkin about better times?"

"-no...I..uh...the tide came in. Real fast. I got pulled couldn't breathe, couldn't see which way was up. I kelt screamin but that just made it worse, water went into my my mouth. I was so scared. I thought I was gonna die."

"oh my god! how did you get out?!"

"-James pulled me out, hit me on the back till I stopped coughin and started breathin normal. Then he hugged me and held me for a long time sayin he was sorry. I'm tell ya this cause that's how I feel now. Like I can't breathe, like I'm gonna suffocate. my chest hurts and it's like I'm bleeding but I ain't cut."

"oh...well..thanks for telling me about all this luke. I'm sure you'll be okay."

but she dosnt understand. This time, there isint anyone to pull me out. And I feel like i just keep sinking deeper...

(1-week later)

"_Haven't slept in a few days. haven't eaten either. I can't, it just don't feel right. I'm home alone, sittin with that old huntin rifle. What do I do now? Pray? Cry? I don't know anymore. Maybe I don't do nothin. Maybe it's just that. But I feel like I should say I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all the pain I caused people, all the trouble I've put people through. I wish I could take it all back. I want to. But I can't, James is dead and it's my fault. I've tried to push through it I really have, but I just can't anymore. It hurts too badly. Too much pain, frustration, anger, confusion...and no one left to care.  
>I've been all alone through this. Cherry never really cared about me. No one did. Cept maybe James, but he's dead now. If he wasn't I wouldn't be feelin like now I'm sittin upstairs in James's and mines room with this old gun. It's shiny, still. Like new. Smooth, too. Not a fleck of rust on it. Fully loaded. I can't take it all anymore. I'm sorry. I'm sorry...I'm so-"<em>

**POLICE REPORT  
>subject: pokemon<br>Gender:male  
>Race: Lucario<br>Name: Luke  
>Status: deceased.<br>A fifteen year old lucario was found with a gunshot wound to the head by , the mother of the pokemons owner. Last year the pokemons trainer had been killed in a car accident, and the pokemon had been suffering depression and survivors guilt. Today, at 3:46 the lucario was found in the bedroom. He was pronounced dead at the scene.**


	6. Where's Luke?

(Cherrys POV)

"spark have you seen Luke?"

"not sense you guys broke off."

"I'm worried, I haven't seen him in forever..."

"I thought that was what you wanted."

"it was...but...god, spark I miss him so much. I love him and he was looking bad last I saw him."

"corse he was lookin bad you where breaking with him."

"yeah I guess, but...""but nothin cherry, im sure he's fine. Lukes a tough guy."

"yeah...yeah thanks. I gotta head out."

"alright. Bye!"

"see ya spark."

it was 9 at night. Usually Luke and I where walking along the forest line, looking at the sun setting... I feel bad about breaking up with him but I had no choice.i really didint, it was just too annoying how bad he got. I mean, he was driving me crazy along with him!

Oh my god. I...I just heard the news. He's dead. Luke...Luke is dead. That can't be true...

_**Cherrys final note to Luke.**_

_luke, how could you? You can't be dead. You got me, you got Riley and jack and everyone around you who wuz willin to help you. Why didint you just let us in? Now your gone. I don't want to believe it. But I was at the funeral. I felt your coffin. I held your paw one last time. And I cried. I cried for a long time. They had a special hat on you, too. So we could see your face. You looked so peaceful. Like you where just sleeping, but...you where cold. So, so cold..oh Luke...I love you, I miss you, why did you leave me? I need you. You where just being selfish taking yourself away from us so soon after James died. We all where suffering, missing him. But you just gave up? How bad could it have been for you?..surely no worse than for the rest of us. You know it wasn't your fault, right? It wasn't, and now your with James and he can tell you so. Your both up there in heaven lookin down on us. Maybe that's for the best..you where suffering, weren't you? I'm so, so sorry I didnt see it in time. I wish I could hug you now, Luke. Tell you it'd be alright. But i can't. It's too late. I'm sorry buddy..I love you. I...I'll miss you. Two pieces to a whole, ain't that how you said it? We...we fit. We fit together. Ain't no one else gonna fit my piece but you, luke...lucario...I love you...I don't want to say goodbye..but I have to. I need to put this in the coffin with you before they bury you. So...I need to go now. Maybe you'll get this letter in heaven. If ya do...I forgive you. I hope you can forgive me. Goodbye..I love you._

_~Cherry_


	7. Riley's Prayer

**Riley's prayer **

**June 27th**

"lord, you received a new little guy last week. His name was Luke. He followed after my son, James. I know you'll take real good care of my boys. They weren't always the best people, but they knew how to make you laugh and how to make you feel better. I wish I could have done more for Luke,he was a good kid. He was suffering, though. I know he's not really my son, he's a pokemon, but...I still grew to love him like he was one of my own. So if you could find it in your heart to give him this message I would be ever grateful. Luke, baby, son of heart, we all love and miss you, and we are all so sorry to have been blind to how badly you where hurting. We only wish we could have done more to save you from this fate, but the good lord has taken you, and we are all sure you'll be taken care of. Lord if you would please, tell both them boys to behave? They be a real handful but they're as loving and caring as anyone you'll ever meet. They can make ya laugh, cry, or just wanna hug em if they really try. I wish I could have told them both myself, but I guess you don't know what ya have until it's gone... I wonder if Luke really knew how much we loved him? I feel horrible for the way I shrugged him off when he tried to explain to me. He knows I didn't mean it, right my lord? I'm positive he does, he has to forgive me for that...if he don't, I'm not sure how I'll forgive myself for it. He was a good little riolu, and an even better lucario. I remember all the good times we had. I wouldn't be able to think back without hurting so bad I cry if it wasn't for him. I remember the little guy running around with James the first day we got him. We meant it as a pet, you know? But they grew to be so, so much more than that. And we are thankful it did because he helped James through times we could never have imagined. Tell them that would you? Well..I'm almost out of time. Me and jack found out, we're having another baby. If it's a boy...we're gonna name him Luke."


	8. Jacks contribution

**Jacks Contribution.**

**June 27th**

_"They asked me to write something to put in the coffin with Luke. And as I sit here with this pen, I can't think of a thing to say. Or maybe I want to say a million things, and don't know where to start. I guess...I'll start with, 'I'm sorry'. Cause I am. I screwed up in not even offering help to the poor kid. I mean, I thought I was hit hard by my sons death I...guess I didn't really consider how bad Luke felt. And now? He's dead. I'm looking at his body and suddenly I don't see him anymore, not like this all groomed and proper. I see him as the little riolu we got from the adoption house, that liked peanut butter crackers and playing in the rain. I see him as the little guy who always came home with James covered in mud, and would make a mess in the bathroom when we tried to get the stuff out of his fur. I see him as the kid Who was crying out for help, but nobody listened. And I'm so sorry that I ignored it. But it's too late now to save him cause he's already dead. I wish so badly it hadn't turned out this way, but that's how life goes sometimes. You don't know how good you got it until it's all going away._

_So, then. What would I want to tell Luke now? I'd wanna say I'm sorry for not being there for you, Luke. Id say I did love you like a son, and that I feel horrible that I never told you that. I thought you just knew. I'd tell you that I'll always be here for you if you needed me, and that if you ever needed someone to talk to I'm right here. Cause I loved you like you where my son, buddy. And I can't help but wonder if lousing you like this is worse than the way we lost James. Taking your own life? How badly where you hurting, Luke? Musta been awful. I'm sorry you had to go out this way, all alone. It's not how it should happen. But that's what happened, and that isn't right. Ain't fair, that's how you would say it. But life Isn't fair. I'll make you a promise though, bud. Every Friday I'll leave a fresh rose on your grave. To try and make up for all the love You never got to know I felt. Becuase I did love you. You where a son to me, and it'll always be that way. that's what I would tell luke if I got the chance. Just one more chance..."_


	9. Sparks Words

**Sparks words**

**June 27th**

"Luke...uh...I didn't really know him well. Not at all really. I talked to him a few times I guess. Kinda funny kid. But now, looking at him lying in that padded piece of wood... I wish I woulda talked to him more than I did. Tried a bit harder I spose. I just kinda have him a passing glance, but that definitely wasn't enough I could have tried much harder. I could see how bad he was hurtin but I didn't do anythin to stop it. That's what really hurt me about this whole thing. I think if more people tried a lot harder, he coulda been saved. But no one really paid him much mind, the poor kid. We didn't see how bad he really had it. Figured he was lucky to be alive and moved he didn't move on, did he? He got trapped in the past and it's regret and guilt. And when he couldn't take it any longer he just took the matter into his own hands. Paws? Whatever.

The point is...life...it's fragile. One mistake can turn everything upside down, and until it's happened you don't really see it coming. And you don't realize it's gunna happen either. It just does. So, if I got the chance, what would I tell Luke? I would tell him I hope he's happy...where ever he is now. I don't know what happens after you die but I like to think it's better than livin. So, then. Where ever you are Luke, I hope your with James, where you belong. Right by his side where you always where. I never really talked to the two of you, but if I saw one of you I always saw the other. You where inseparable! In hindsight, I guess it's no wonder you where hit the hardest. You where given to him when he was a kid,but he basically raised you didn't he? It's sad to see the both of you gone now, but least your together. In fact, Riley and jack got everything set up. Your gonna be buried right beside James. Next to his spot. To his left, where you always where. Laughin and playing ball. Well..I hope now, your laughin again. I haven't heard you laugh in a long, long time. But now I bet where ever you ended up, you for plopped right down next to that tall, lanky boy named James. So, have fun you two. Well miss ya."


	10. Alternate Ending (just a little extra)

(James's POV)

didnt remember much. Just screechin, then being jerked forward as we hit something. A little voice in the back of my head yelled 'I told you so idiot!'. I looked around, and saw Luke wasn't in the car anymore, and my heart thudded painfully. Was he hurt? I saw him stand up and coulda shouted for joy, if I didn't suddenly feel a searing pain shoot up my back, and I realized- I was freaking stuck. Inside a burning car. Oh sh**. I started to panic I guess, kicking and screaming. I saw Luke at the window then watched him literally punch in the glass to get to me, felt him tug desperately at the belt. I wanted to scream for him to get out of there, to leave me, but all I could do was babble hysterically. I didn't even know what I was saying, but I remember probably. Then just nothing. It didn't hurt, but it didn't feel either. Then suddenly I was on a basketball court. But it was strange, cause i saw my little brother lee who had died when I was like three. He had been sick or something.

It hit me like a Flippin train. I was dead wasn't i? Oh, shoot. No. I left everyone behind? Suddenly Luke was there. No, nonono that can't be,..he can't die too!

"Luke, what are you doing here?!"

i suddenly realize, he was...he looked bad. He was thin and his fur was a when he looked at me it was like someone flipped a switch. He ran and hugged me, and started to cry. But strange thing was, for the first time I didn't have to guess what he was saying.

"oh, god, James I'm sorry I'm so sorry.."

"shh, relax buddy, what happened why are you here?!"

"I couldn't take it anymore James, it hurt so bad knowing what I had done to you and I know you blame me and-"

"what! Blame you! Bro you be trippin."

"Wh-what?"

"That crash ain't your fault, just a freak accident. And what do you mean can't take it anymore I only just died."

"j-James..you've been dead for a year and a half.."

"wha?..wait...can't...take it...Luke did...did...you...kill..."

"I'm sorry I...I...I couldn't...take it any longer, I just..."

"...shh, buddy...it's okay now. It's all gonna be OK.."


End file.
